Well, this is the year where the rubber meets the road when it comes to Santa and secular
ideological Christmas. I didn't expect it to hit me this hard. All of a sudden, I've been questioning the whole Santa thing and wondering how we should handle it. I didn't have a problem last year at all. We drug him to an awesome Santa in Chicago and sat him on his knee screaming. For some reason, this year is different. Maybe it is because he's older and the disciplining/training/teaching is in full swing. We are trying our best to point to Christ in everything we do with the kids so that one day they will come to know and love Him as we do. We fail (miserably some days), but God's Grace is good and His Mercies are new each morning. We are just regular parents doing our best to raise our sweet children to one day know Him. By His Grace alone they are saved, and He has called us to lead them to Him. Thus, our Santa dilemma begins...
David and I both grew up going to church and living in Christian homes. I can say that Jesus was talked about here and there, on Sundays, Christmas, and Easter, etc. It rarely came into practice with discipline or other aspects of daily life. We didn't have family worship or devotional time. Just mainstream Christian broken homes. This is not to say that they way we were raised was inherently wrong. It is what it is. The more we learn about the sacrifice of our Savior and the glory that we are supposed to bring to him in our daily life and raising our children, we begin to see a bigger picture than the Baptist Box that we grew up in. We are trying to do things a little different with Luke and Haydn. We want every thing we teach them to point to Christ.
I say all of this because we both grew up with Santa. David and I have great memories of the mysticism of Christmas as children. My mom did the 'you better be good' bit, but his did not. He had elves bring him candy in his shoes. I didn't have a chimney so Santa had to show up at my grandparent's house. It was presented differently, but both of us have memories of it. My memory of baby Jesus was categorized with Santa. Jesus was discussed year round, but we both recall Santa being more 'exciting' than Jesus.
These are my random thoughts lately:
- I don't want to lie to my children.
- I grew up with the Santa thing and wasn't damaged by the lie my mom told me, but I know people that were.
- David and I think that maybe the people that were damaged had more of the 'punishment' side of Santa presented to them. You know, the 'You better stop that or Santa's not going to bring you any presents.' (while in the grocery store in June).
- There is just something a little creepy about the song that says, 'He sees you when your sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.' Seriously....a big, red, bearded fat guy watching you all the time is kind of creepy.
- Luke is scared of Santa. Always has been. I can only imagine how he would feel if he knew that Santa was going to sneak into our house when we've baited him with cookies. I doubt he'd sleep the night before. For example, we went to 'Breakfast with Santa' at the local high school with some friends Saturday morning. It was going to be a trial run for our real 'sit on Santa's lap picture' this Thursday. We walked up to the front while a friend was sitting on his lap so that Luke could see that she wasn't scared. We didn't say anything. Just let him watch. He still had NO desire to get in line. So, we played the little games that were out for the kids. After each booth, someone would inevitably ask, 'Have you seen Santa yet?' Luke knew what they meant so he would reply, 'I just SAW Santa. He's over there.' I would have to tell them that we haven't 'seen' Santa, but he did just go 'see' him. Then, after about the third occurance, he said, 'I SAW Santa, but I.am.not.going.to.get.in.his.face!' My kid...he's something else!
- Not sure I want to put him through another year of crying on kringle's lap.
- If our goal in parenting is to bring Luke and Haydn to the Throne of Grace and teach them about Jesus so that one day by Grace they will be saved, then how is Santa omniscient when the Triune God is the true omniscient one?
- If our goal in parenting is to bring Luke and Haydn to the Throne of Grace and teach them about Jesus AND the true meaning of Christmas is Christ's birth, then where does Santa fit in?
- Santa is just a character like Cinderella or Mickey Mouse. Maybe we should just teach the kids the difference between fantasy and reality without saying, Santa isn't real...just call him a character. This may help in the area of other children...if our kids never hear the 'Santa isn't real' verbiage, then maybe they'll just play along with the rest of the world without actually 'believing in' Santa and spoiling others beliefs. (It's so hard to be in the world and not of it!)
- We may just skirt the issue and let him draw clues from what he sees. We won't perpetuate anything or tell him anything...just let him figure it out on his own. A friend told me about a conversation with her 5 year old recently. I liked how she handled it:
MaKenna: Mom, is Santa going to come down the chimney?
Mom: I don't know, MaKenna, what do you think?
MaKenna: I think he is.
Mom: Why do you think that?
MaKenna: Because I saw somewhere that he does that...
Mom: Oh...OK.
- We may just say that he's a symbol/character of hope and giving...
- We may just teach them about who St. Nicolas was and why some people believe...
- Will the wonder and excitement of Christmas fade if he knows that Santa is just a symbol or a character??
During this whole thought process, a sweet friend let me borrow a book called,
Treasuring God in our Traditions by Noel Piper. She made some good points:
- Fairy tales are fun, but we don't ask our children to believe them.
- Celebrating with Santa and manger will postpone a child's clear understanding of what the real truth of God is. It's very difficult for a young child to pick through a marble cake of part truth and part imagination to find the crumbs of reality. We want our children to understand God as fully as they're able, at whatever age they are. So we try to avoid anything that would inhibit or distort that understanding
- Think of how confusing it is to a literal-thinking, uncritical preschooler. Santa is so much like what we're trying all year to teach our children about God. Look at the attributes of Santa:
1. He's omniscient - he sees everything you do.
2. He rewards you if you are good.
3. He's omnipresent - at least, he can be everywhere in one night.
4. He gives you good gifts.
5. He's the most famous "old man in the sky" figure.
- At the deeper level that young children can't comprehend yet, he is not like God at all. For example, does Santa really care if we're bad or good? Think of the most awful kid you can remember. Did he or she ever not get gifts from Santa? What about Santa spying and then rewarding you if you are good enough? That's not the way God operates. He gave us his gift - His Son - even though we weren't good at all. "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). He gave his gift to us to make us good, not because we had proved ourselves good enough.
- Helping our children understand God as much as they're able at whatever age they are is our primary goal....I think children are glad to realize that their parents who live with them all year and know all the worst things about them, still show their love at Christmas. Isn't that better than a funny, old make-believe man that drops in once a year?
I am not saying that we know the right answer yet or that we are even on the right track. We are just trying to figure out what is right for us. I guess that is all you can do. Luckily, we have one more year before Luke is old enough to truly understand. So we will use that time to really pray about and decide how our family wants to handle
Jolly '
ol St. Nick. Any thoughts out there? Any book suggestions?
**You may not agree with this post and that is fine. It is more of a way for me to try to work through our struggle with Santa. Feel free to post your comments, but be nice! {wink, wink}...and remember that we are merely trying to do what we think is best for our kids...we all want that for them, don't we?